"A Roman Catholic and an Atheist Walk Into a Bar: Chris Stedman on Living"

Tattooed arms, gauged ears, and a hint of facial stubble might well tell a person’s story for them, especially when accompanied by tight t-shirts, tighter jeans, thick-framed glasses, and an appetite for out-of-style and underground pop culture. For Chris Stedman, however, this sort of indie rock-inspired, self-described “hipster” aesthetic is only a small part of the story, and not necessarily even an important one. What says more about who we are than our clothes is the way we conduct our lives.

Chris Stedman (www.augsburg.edu)

On his blog, NonProphet Status, Stedman describes himself as an “atheist and humanist interfaith activist,” with a singular goal: “to catalyze a movement in which religious and secular folks not only co-exist peacefully but collaborate around shared values. ” As to how he hopes to do this, he writes, “the answer is as simple as seeking to understand the diverse people who are here with us, and working together to advance equality and justice for all.” While he might not describe himself as an ethicist, Stedman provides an intriguing answer to the age-old moral question, “How should we live?” Stedman’s answer, “Together,” is too often overlooked.

For Stedman, “living together” is not a fantastic pipe dream, but a realization of a dream just on the horizon. This is not an entirely novel idea, however: Religious folk – myself included – have long been involved in interfaith dialogue with an eye to pluralism. Non-religious folk, however, have been largely uninvolved in such dialogue. Through his writings, especially, Stedman has suggested that the religious and the non-religious are simply opposite sides of the same coin, and should be in conversation with one another. His opinions have not gone unnoticed, with both religious and non-religious readers alike championing his message.

His blog, NonProphet Status, serves as a sort of forum for such discussion. Featuring such panelists as Serah Blain, Vlad Chituc, Chelsea Link, Walker Bristol, and Tim Pate, as well as such contributors as Nico Lang, Toby Chow, and Emily L. Hauser, among many others, the blog is “meant to be a forum for stories promoting atheist-interfaith cooperation,” With guest contributions from more than fifty men and women of all walks of life, Stedman’s blog has served as a crucial first step for many toward living together and living well: namely, first contact.

In creating NonProphet Status Stedman “wanted to create a forum for an alternative secular narrative. It’s why he initiated, organized and ran NPS’ first Share Your Secular Story contest. Featuring an amazing panel of judges that included the former head of Amnesty International USA and 2002 “Humanist of the Year” William Schulz, the contest inspired an influx of submissions from all across the United States and even across the globe, with entries from Ireland and Kenya and a story from one entrant’s childhood growing up in India. ” He goes on to say that, “In hosting the story contest and featuring so many guest bloggers, Chris has hoped to make NPS a place where a multitude of voices help define a new narrative for the secular community: one that respects the religious identities of others while remaining authentic to our own identities (be they secular, religious, or somewhere in-between).”

Stedman also makes it especially clear that NonProphet Status was never intended to serve as a sort of “platform” or soapbox atop which he could twist and shout and shake his fist. While he does contribute posts to the blog, ranging widely from schedules of interfaith activities and events to personal reflections and commentaries, his posts are only few among many and, as such, are not entirely telling of his own thoughts or, more importantly, his own identity. While Stedman suggests that communication and inter-personal understanding contribute to “Living well,” he also seems to draw a strong correlation between “Living well,” and “Living authentically.” How he, as an atheist interfaith activist, lives an “Authentic,” life, interestingly enough can be seen more clearly in the public sphere than on his own (While admittedly far-from-private) blog.

Chris Stedman - Faitheist (www.nonprophetstatus.com)

His impressive 17,000+ Tweets aside, Chris Stedman is a prolific writer. Stedman “…writes for The Huffington Post Gay Voices and The Huffington Post Religion, where his work is among the most commented upon in the site’s history, and he is the youngest panelist for The Washington Post On Faith. He is currently finishing Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious,” a memoir to be released in November of this year. Throughout his many writings – Tweets included – Stedman tells parts of his story past, present and future in order to lay a foundation for his compassionate and critical views, never for a second forgetting who he is or where he comes from.

In the piece “How Being Queer Inspires My Interfaith-Atheist Work,” for The Huffington Post Gay Voices, Stedman identifies his mother as potentially his greatest muse and role-model growing up: “My mom has always modeled tolerance and acceptance... my mother was raised in a home that welcomed those whom mainstream society rejected. This attitude of openness was instilled in her at a young age, and my siblings and I were raised to wear gender-neutral clothing, to play with non-gendered toys, and to think of ourselves as unrestrained by societal norms. My mother gave dolls to all three of her boys so that we might learn to be nurturing and caring; my younger brother Colton, who would go on to play football and head up his college's rugby fraternity, loved his doll more than any of us did, making blankets for it and taking it with him everywhere.”

It wasn’t until his encounter with Christianity, however, that his mother’s model of toleration and acceptance were truly tested. Stedman goes on: “During my teen years as a "born-again" Christian, these values were eclipsed as I embraced my church's message that LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer) people were inferior -- that their lives were not a part of God's plan. But after my mom helped me come to accept myself, I was introduced to a different community of Christians, which welcomed, included and celebrated LGBTQ people.”

While he would eventually go on to become a prominent atheist, the inclusion and community Stedman experienced continues to encourage and inspire his interfaith work today: “I engage in interfaith work because I see my dignity and my identity as an atheist and a queer person -- my happiness, my well-being and my freedom -- as bound up in the identities of others, and their abilities to be happy and live freely. Similarly, I identify as queer because I believe that those of us who are not heterosexual, those of us who do not fit into traditional conceptions of gender expression -- and even those who do -- share common concerns, common joys and common challenges, and that we can better address those concerns, joys and challenges when we are engaged with one another.”

Stedman believes – and rightfully so – it is important for us to claim our identities proudly in order to connect our own welfare with the common good. Contrary to the fears of some that celebrating a pluralistic society will drive us apart, Stedman identifies his dignity and identity both as an atheist and as a queer person – his very authentic identity, as such – as connected to the dignity and identities of others. Simply put, “living together” is “living well.” And this is way Stedman believes atheists should be involved in interreligious dialogue—they are part of the “we” of this world, and their voices deserve to be heard. In addition, atheists—again, contrary to the fears of some—can help humanize public dialogues.

Chris Stedman (www.myoutspirit.com)

In the piece “Time to stop rewarding the dehumanizing rhetoric,” for The Washington Post on Faith, Stedman addresses, as the title suggests, what he regards as “Dehumanizing rhetoric,” namely, language that proclaims the superiority of one party while simultaneously denouncing another, necessarily seeking to destroy any semblance of “Living together,” in order to enable “Living well.” Stedman explains: “Every day, countless nonreligious Americans go about living ethical lives that positively contribute to their communities. Take, for example, a student I'm working with at the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard [where Stedman serves as the Interfaith and Community Service Fellow], Chelsea Link. When Chelsea heard that the Westboro Baptist Church, known for its hateful protests of veteran funerals, was coming to protest Jewish students at Harvard, she co-organized an interfaith response. "It's important to me - as a Humanist, but mostly just as a human - to speak out against injustice whenever and wherever I see it," said Link." [Westboro's picketing] was a clear case of an attack on pluralism, which I feel obligated to defend. But mostly I just don't like letting people be attacked unfairly without stepping up to defend them."”

Through the example of Chelsea Link, Stedman suggests that the language we use may be unable to more actively engage all peoples from all walks of life, which we’ve previously identified as “Living together.” Adopting a language of inclusion and pluralism, as Stedman and the contributors to NonProphet Status do, is likely the first step in such a life together, as well as an authentic and, ultimately, a good life. In the piece Stedman wrote for The Huffington Post Religion, “Why This Atheist Still Needs His Former Pastor,” he recalls a conversation with his former pastor: “"Remember how you told me you had a call to ministry?" he asked as I took a sip of black coffee. I laughed, nearly spitting it out. "I work for an atheist organization now, so I think it's safe to say that I was wrong about that one." "Oh, see," he said with a smirk, his eyes darting mischievously between the Bible he had placed on the table and his former parishioner, "I was going to say that it's really nice to see you've realized your call."”

He continues: “I never did become a pastor, but by working with one, I've been able to do the work of helping others all the same. I call it service, he calls it ministry; though our words are different, our values and our work are the same. Because we don't let different words get in the way, we've been able to make that little dent just a little bit bigger.” Chris Stedman serves as a sterling example of not only living authentically, but also living well. The good life is a life together, different in word while the same in values and works: The life together is a life of working together.

As a Roman Catholic, I am called to a life of working together, of love, of giving of myself fully and completely. I can’t help but feel, in reading Chris’ words that mine – and his – is a universal calling, even if the language I use is not entirely universal (and even if “catholic” means “universal”). Wouldn’t it be something if a Roman Catholic and an atheist could walk into a bar without a punch line?

I, for one, would like to live in that sort of world, and I am thankful that people like Chris Stedman are working toward making that sort of world a reality.